


The Reason Why

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Episode Related, Gap Filler, No Slash, Romance, Season/Series 01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-06-27
Updated: 2005-06-27
Packaged: 2018-12-27 00:53:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12070422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Brian's thoughts as he enters the prom.





	The Reason Why

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

I can not believe I’m doing this. 

Why am I here? Ah, the question humanity has wanted to answer since the dawn of time. But seriously. I’m in my car in the underground carpark of a hotel. Somewhere above me the students of St. James are having their prom. So why the hell am I here? 

Because he asked me to come? Well maybe partially. He asked me but I pretty much told him to fuck off. I don’t have to be here, I know he doesn’t expect me to be here, so why am I? Dressed up in a new suit, wearing my most ridiculously expensive French cologne; I paid more attention than usual to my hair and I even shaved again.

So why? I guess… I want to be. I can’t wait to see the look on his face when he sees me. And, hell I can't wait to see him. I’ve never seen him in a tux. Bet he looks hot.

I get out of Jeep and determinedly slam the door behind me. I’m going to go to that damn prom. Maybe. Argh!

I turn and look at my reflection in the window. I look good. Really good. But nothing new there. Right. I straighten my jacket. Perfect. Where was I? 

The prom. I lock the car door and head for the elevator, having gained a touch more self confidence from checking how good I look. 

I didn’t really enjoy my prom. I danced with a couple of girls but mainly spent the night complaining about the whole fiasco to Michael. Of course, I wasn’t out in high school. My parents would have killed me. I’d have been kicked out of home at the very least. I guess that’s what happened to Justin though, and he dealt with it and never looked back. Man that kid’s got balls. So maybe that’s another reason I’m here tonight, stepping into the elevator that’s going to carry me up to the grand ballroom where the St. James prom is being held. Justin is out and fucking proud of it, and I'm kinda proud of him for it too. Him inviting me here as his date was supposed to be a big “fuck you” to all the homophobic assholes that have been giving him shit all though high school, so why would I want to deny him that? I’ve never passed up the opportunity to piss off some homophobes. 

He asked me to come as his date. His 30-year-old prom date. 30! Jesus. I’ll be the only one there over the age of 18 who isn’t a staff member. That’s so wrong, I shouldn’t be here. But he said he wanted to go with “someone he cares about”. So here I am. Knowing he cares about me is just about as scary as it is reassuring. It tends to lead to thoughts of how much I care… uh forget that, where was I? Of course I’ve always known he cares about me, but I still maintain his affections are misplaced. 

We’ve never really been on an actual date before. I suppose that’s because a real date would confirm that we actually have something officially going on between us, some kind of…relationship? However unconventional and undefined it may be. Ugh. “Relationship”. God I hate that word. Until now it’s really just been casual sex. Good, frequent casual sex. And maybe I don’t mind having him around. But I’ve never done anything that really legitimizes this thing we have. I’ve never really gone out of my way to do anything that would show him that I…uh… don’t mind having him around… 

Until now.

Why am I feeling nervous?

I’m I the lobby now, I can see a sign pointing to the ballroom where the prom is being held. I can hear some teeny-bopper music coming from that direction which only reminds me of how old I am and how out of place I am here. Fuck! 

Why am I here again? For Justin…

But why the hell am I here for Justin? It’s not like we’re in a relationship or anything. We don’t do dates, I don’t do dates, and I sure as hell don’t do fucking high school proms! Argh! I’m just standing here in the lobby looking like a total idiot. 

No-one’s forcing me to be here, I came of my own free will. I’m here because… fuck! Because it will make Justin happy. That’s it. I want to make him happy. And maybe… that would make me happy too. Shit. I’m such a goner. I should run while I still can. 

But, I’m not running away. I’m walking towards the ballroom, still desperately trying to convince myself that this is a good idea.

Think! Seeing Justin in a tuxedo. Mmmmm. Pissing off homophobes. Excellent. Maybe dancing with Justin in front of them all, or even kissing him… fuck yeah! Whatever I do, I’ll make sure to be all over him so people know exactly why I’m there, and I’m going to be the perfect date so all those poor teenage heteros and closet cases can see how it’s done. Plus, Justin deserves some kind of reward for having the balls to actually want me here.

I’m entering the ballroom now, I can see balloons and confetti and hear this teenage pop music and whatthefuck am I doing here!? I’m going to dance with this kid at his prom? I think I may be … holyshit! I’m being romantic! Goddammit! That’s it, I’m leaving. 

Wait a minute…. There he is. 

 

 

Wow.

 

Chin up, shoulders squared, I stride confidently though the room, taking in the scenery, trying not to look at him because I may just have a heart attack. He looks amazing. A-fucking-mazing. So… _handsome_. God. I have to be near him. Suddenly this night looks a hell of a lot better. Hell, my _life_ looks a hell of a lot better. 

I want him. I want to dance with him and romance him and give him the best fucking night of his whole fucking life. I want him to be mine.

I look at him again as I walk over. He’s seen me. And that look? Completely stunned. Amazed. Beautiful. Looks like my efforts paid off. As it quickly sinks in that I'm actually here, he has the cheek to give me this look like all of his wildest dreams have just come true. 

And maybe they have, because, shit…

Maybe the impossible has happened, although probably, with him, it’s really the inevitable...

 

I think I’m…Fuck!

 

I’m… in love with him.


End file.
